101 ways
by Parody-of-an-Angel
Summary: What happens when Ron and Harry compile a list of ways to piss off Snape and why is Hermione acting it out? SSHG list by EnSnared
1. Prologue

101 (Dangerous) Ways to Annoy Snape  
  
Parody-of-an-Angel  
  
'What happens when Harry and Ron compile a list of ways to piss of Snape and why is Hermione completing it? SS/HG. List by EnSnared'  
  
Disclaimer – I do not own any characters from Harry Potter. I do not own this list. I did not make it up. It is not mine...........................but I have permission to use it.  
  
THE OWNER OF THE FABULOUS LIST IS ENSNARED!!!!!!! Thank you.  
  
BTW, chapters will probably be very short but I will update often!! Well, often for me anyway (  
  
REVIEW  
  
Chapter 1 - Prologue  
  
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Hermione Granger walked or rather stomped, down the second floor corridor, seething. The nerve of that man! She briefly considered practising voodoo magic on him before she remembered that any form of it was outlawed over a hundred years ago. Pity. Storming across the floor, she made her way to the staircase opposite the Great Hall and ascended them slowly, trying to calm down her frantic mind, which was currently filled with thoughts of violent revenge upon a certain Professor.  
  
Vainly trying to dispel the negative thoughts from her being, she recalled what had brought about this uncharacteristic mood.  
  
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A young girl of seventeen walked the familiar route to the dungeons, her footsteps resounding against the cold stone. Shivering, she clutched her robe tighter around her and the grip on the parchment she held in her other hand tightened. Looking up, she realised that she had reached her destination – the Potion's classroom. Raising her hand, Hermione knocked the door with three precise raps, the blows echoing hollowly against the wood.  
  
"Enter," a smooth voice said from within.  
  
Drawing a deep breath, Hermione gathered all her supposed Gryffindor courage and opened the door, which creaked a little on it's hinges and cautiously peered in. Professor Snape was seated at his desk, currently scribbling away at something, which Hermione presumed to be essays. He was hunched over with his lank greasy hair falling into his face creating a curtain almost.  
  
Clearing her throat, she walked up to steps leading to the mahogany desk and waited for him to acknowledge her presence in some way. When he didn't, Hermione once again cleared her throat much like Umbridge had.  
  
"Hem, Hem"  
  
That finally got his attention and he grudgingly looked up, unable to ignore her any longer.  
  
"Miss Granger," he drawled with a sneer. "I trust that you have a legitimate reason for intruding upon me at this hour".  
  
Stifling a retort – it was only just after dinner – she answered him as politely as she could.  
  
"Professor Snape," she started clearly. "I am here to discuss the grade that you have awarded me on the essay, which I recently handed in."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"I think that it is unreasonable and that I know that I deserve higher then that".  
  
"Let me remind you Miss Granger," he started, rising form his seat to tower over her. "That I am the teacher and not you, therefore making it my decision on which marks to award you on any given essay or project".  
  
"I understand that Professor, but I really think that you should go over this again and I think that you will find everything in order," Hermione stated, desperately trying to keep her rare temper in check.  
  
"True Miss Granger, everything is in order, but I do not think that you fully understand what you are writing about".  
  
At this, Hermione gasped indignantly, no one had ever accused her of not understanding something that she had handed in before. It was unthinkable, yet he had just done it.  
  
"I assure you Professor Snape that I do indeed know what I am talking, or in this case writing about," she said very civilly, congratulating herself at her self-control.  
  
"Others might think that you know what you are talking about, but I think that though who can recite facts to me – all memorised out of some book or another – you do not truly understand the subtle art of Potion's making"  
  
Hermione simply gaped at him, unable to come up with a reply more mature than "I do so!". Closing her mouth abruptly, she turned on her heel and exited the lab without a second glance, still not quite believing that after years of perfect scores she had gotten a 90%.  
  
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Her heart still stung with the memory of the cruel words that had been so harshly administered to her. Blinking back tears, she recalled a muggle saying that she had once heard 'Big girls don't cry...they get even'. Wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her robe, she stiffened her resolve to do just this.  
  
Arriving at the portrait of the fat lady 5 minutes later, she said the password and the painting swung aside to reveal a small hole in the wall. Hermione was greeted by the sight of her two friends huddled together at one of the small tables in the corner of the room, whom were every now and then glancing over their shoulders in trepidation. Strolling over to them quietly, she snuck up behind Ron before grabbing his shoulders, an action which led to a surprised yelp on his part and a hearty chuckle from Harry.  
  
"Wotcha doing?" she asked, using the favourite word of Tonks, though for a different meaning.  
  
"Nothing," Ron said over-loudly, but motioned for her to follow them, which she did, leaving her abandoned essay on the table.  
  
Making their way out the common room door, curiosity overcoming the urge to do her homework instead, they made their way to the girl's bathroom on the second floor. Myrtle was out under the lake luckily, so they were ensured absolute privacy. Wondering what was so special that they had to keep it a secret from everyone, Hermione mused on what it could be, her mind coming up with a range of possibilities each more unlikely then the rest.  
  
Casting a repellent charm on all their bums, Hermione and co sat down on the wet floor, though they were unaffected. Harry and Ron were each hiding something behind their backs and at a discreet nod from both of them, they brought the mysterious items out with a flourish and "TA DA". Hermione was rather disappointed with what she saw, having been expecting something very unusual. Instead all they were holding were bits of browning parchment. Ron gave his to Harry who put them together and handed the stack to Hermione reverently.  
  
"Um, what exactly is it?" asked Hermione sceptically.  
  
"What is it?!" exclaimed Ron passionately. "This, my dear Hermione is the..."  
  
"List of all lists!" continued Harry, interrupting. "It is the King of the lists! The sovereign ruler of lists!"  
  
"Isn't the King the sovereign ruler?" she asked, missing the point of their mini daytime Soap altogether.  
  
"I don't know, but that wasn't the point. The point is that this is the best thing that I have ever written!" said Harry, on the verge of shouting.  
  
"Hey! I wrote it too," declared Ron proudly, while Harry and Hermione rolled their eyes simultaneously.  
  
"What's it a list of though?" enquired Hermione curiously.  
  
"Read it and find out," and so she did.  
  
101 (Dangerous) Ways to Annoy Snape  
  
1. During potions lessons, wear fake teeth and claim you invented the question mark. 2. Ask him if he's ever watched Barney.  
  
Hermione only got that far before a dangerous gleam came into her eye and she looked up into Harry and Ron's stunned faces at he expression of......mischief! Smiling evilly to herself she proceeded to initiate the conversation which would still shock the boys when they though of it 10 years from now. Know-it-all bookworm Hermione Granger was going to break the rules. Continuously and on purpose .  
  
"Do you mind if I borrowed this list?" she asked, smirking about some unseen joke.  
  
"It depends what for," stated Harry. "We're very protective of our baby"  
  
At this, Hermione snorted, but refrained from commenting on the term of endearment.  
  
"Well, do you want the honest version or some fake phoney lie?" she asked, procrastinating telling them the real reason why she wanted the list.  
  
"Honest one"  
  
"Okay, I plan to act out all the things on the list, effectively pissing off Snape to no end and exacting my revenge!" she declared triumphantly.  
  
"Revenge for what?" asked Ron. "Other then being a greasy sadistic over- grown bat whom is really biased that is," he added.  
  
"Revenge for giving me only 90% on an essay and claiming that I didn't know what I was writing about!"  
  
"Um, oooooookkkkkaaaaayyyyyy" said Harry, backing away slowly with Ron following suit, neither of them daring to say anything about how 90% wasn't that bad.  
  
"Thanks!" Hermione yelled, already rushing back to the common room to read over the list and prepare for it.  
  
She knew that by doing this, it would probably get her into a load of trouble, maybe even expelled, but she already had several black streaks on her record so why not go the full Monty? That night, she dreamed of Snape's face when she exacted her perfect revenge, thanking the Gods that today had been the day when Harry and Ron had for once put their brains to use and composed a masterpiece.  
  
¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤  
  
Well, what did you think? Did you hate it? Did you love it? REVIEW PEOPLES!!!..........................please.  
  
Once again, I do not own the list. It was written by EnSnared who let me use it.  
  
Make the button happy and press it / 


	2. Chapter I

101 (Dangerous) Ways to Annoy Snape  
  
Parody-of-an-Angel  
  
'what happens when Harry and Ron compile a list of ways to piss of Snape and why is Hermione completing it? SS/HG. List by EnSnared'  
  
Disclaimer – I do not own any characters from Harry Potter. I do not own this list. I did not make it up. It is not mine...........................but I have permission to use it.  
  
THE OWNER OF THE FABULOUS LIST IS ENSNARED!!!!!!! Thank you.  
  
The theory Snape says on who invented the question mark was taken from this site sure if the link will show up or if it will work, but oh well.  
  
WOW – thank you so much for all the reviews! It's last period of the last day of school at the moment and I am in History and sposed to be doing work, but...probably won't be as good as 1st chapter - soz  
  
Avery-88: Thanks, I also thought it was funny that she got mad at a 90%  
  
Sailor Silver Sky: glad you like it  
  
Lindsey: Thanks, I will continue it  
  
Faye6: glad you liked it.  
  
Moviebuff101: to tell you the truth, I'm not really sure how it will all turn out, I have a vague idea though  
  
celtic elf: very short review but thank you  
  
emmaweasley: glad you think it's good  
  
RavenclawGirl714: definitely!  
  
Lerenzie: hi MC, I am not a Spazzo!! Well, maybe a bit... My fingers are burning! BURNING I tell you!! I just spilt soup on them...chicken soup :) bother  
  
Christine: brilliant?? snort if u say so, writing more......now  
  
Evil Pureblood: Thank you so much! As 4 the Hermione becoming like George, u know the saying – Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned!  
  
Dragonfaerie1186: true it's hiding most of the time, but remember the Polyjuice potion? That was kinda mischevious ( thankies!  
  
Brittany Malfoy: thank you so much!  
  
ShinakaStar: I am continuing it! glad you think it's funny.  
  
Miss Elvira: thanks a bunch, will make him squeal – you can count on that! ( Sorry I only had the first chapter up  
  
(::) text cookie by Ron's Best Mate  
  
Chapter 2 – the first two tasks  
  
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Hermione awoke to the dawn light filtering through the curtains of her canopy bed. Rising quickly, she showered and dressed at record pace; after all, she had a lot of work to do in preparation for her revenge. Thinking of that particular thing, a malicious grin spread across her face, warning everyone that she was not a girl to be tangled with. Checking the time, she noticed with a satisfied grin that it was just past 6am and, careful not to wake any of her peers, stole out of her room, down the stairs and out the portrait hole.  
  
Walking across the grounds, she hummed softly to herself, confident that it was too early for anyone to be up in order to see her. Unbeknownst to her though, a pair of peri-winkle blue eyes watched her over the top of half moon spectacles, twinkling merrily from the astronomy tower.  
  
When she reached the border of Hogwarts, she looked around and sure that no one was watching apparated to Diagon Alley. Hermione had gotten her apparition licence in the middle of her sixth year much to the not so much surprise but amazement of her friends, who had that very night thrown a celebratory party for her with the whole of Gryffindor tower in attendance. Smiling at the fond memory, she appeared with a muffled pop at the Leaky Cauldron, the witches, wizards. Hags etc. not even flinching at her sudden appearance, they were so used to people randomly appearing. Taking off her robe, she stuffed it inside her bag, revealing ordinary muggle jeans and T- shirt underneath.  
  
Pulling the list from her back pocket, she re-read the first couple of tasks; 1. During potions lessons, wear fake teeth and claim you invented the question mark. 2. Ask him if he's ever watched Barney.  
  
She didn't need anything for 2 except maybe a whole lot of courage, so that meant that all she had to buy for now was fake teeth. Exiting the ramshackle bar, Hermione stepped out into muggle London and blinked in the sudden light. Walking along the path with no particular destination in mind, she kept an eye out for any shop, which might stock fake teeth and indulged in childhood memories of Barney.  
  
As a child, blissfully unaware of the fact that she was a witch she had often watched TV and now remembered the first time she had seen the giant purple dinosaur. She had been five at the time and had been home with her mother when he and all his friends had suddenly appeared on her screen. Hermione had screamed at the shocking purple colour and her mother had come running, enveloping her in a hug and switching the TV off. After that, she hadn't seen it again, still scared and when older, too mature.  
  
Suddenly spying a costume shop that looked promising, Hermione abruptly turned right and entered the building, a golden bell above the door signalling her arrival. The place was old and dusty, but the costumes themselves were in perfect condition. Browsing through the racks, she came across fairy costumes, mermaid costumes and even witch costumes, complete with warty noses and fake nails.  
  
"Can I help you with anything?" a short, bald man said, surprising her by popping his head over her shoulder.  
  
"Umm, do you stock fake teeth?" Hermione inquired, feeling more then a tad silly and backing away a bit.  
  
The bald man didn't seem to be phased by this and answered as though people came to him asking for fake teeth all the time, which considering where she was, they probably did.  
  
"I'm sorry Miss, but we ran out yesterday and have yet to receive more," Hermione's face fell at this – time was running out before she would have to be back.  
  
"However," the shopkeeper continued. "We do have one costume that comes with a set of fake teeth. I'm afraid you would have to buy the complete costume though".  
  
Hermione quickly calculated how much muggle money she had, flipping her wallet open to count. She had more then enough for this and other things that she would probably need to complete the list as she didn't often spend it and so asked the man to show her the costume, which turned out to be a scientist's one complete with lab coat, glasses and teeth that had very large front teeth – even larger then hers used to be. In short, it was perfect.  
  
Smiling maniacally, she purchased the item, the shopkeeper staring at her nervously and backing away slowly to retreat to the safety of the back room. Laughing, Hermione strolled out the door and made her solitary way back to the castle.  
  
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Stretching languidly, Harry Potter aka the boy who lived, swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up, pulling the curtains around his bed aside. Quickly changing, he hurriedly stuffed the books that he would need for the day into his bag and attempted to flatten his hair. Not succeeding, he made his way across the small room and proceeded to poke Ron in the stomach trying to wake him up, but to no avail. All that happened was that the red-haired boy rolled over and stuck his head under his pillow, occasionally muttering "5 more minutes mom".  
  
Stifling a snort and sighing, Harry summoned a ready prepared bucket of water from the bathroom and dumped the icy contents all over his friend, who spluttered indignantly.  
  
"Haaaaaaaary," he whined. "Watcha have to do that for? Couldn't you have simply poked me or something?"  
  
"Believe me Ron, I tried".  
  
"Well, why'd you wake me up anyway?" Ron asked, grumbling under his breath in a way that eerily reminded Harry of Kreacher.  
  
"Because breakfast will be over in 15 minutes and I'm hungry," Harry replied, knowing that the mention of food would send Ron into a flurry of activity, which it did.  
  
Jumping up, Ron was changed and ready for class in less than three minutes and much to Harry's amusement, had put on his robe back to front. After he had pointed this out to Ron and it had been fixed, the pair made their way down to the Great Hall for the remainder of breakfast. Plonking themselves down, they looked around for Hermione. However this morning, she was nowhere to be seen, which was odd as she was usually one of the first people to enter the hall.  
  
Just then, said girl barged through the doors, chestnut hair streaming behind her and bulging bag bouncing on her back. Reaching the Gryffindor table, she sat down, panting a bit and reached for a piece of toast.  
  
"Hey Moine," greeted Ron. "Where've you been? Breakfast's basically over".  
  
"Oh, just preparing for something," Hermione replied vaguely, deep in thought.  
  
Harry and Ron decided not to press it as it was obvious that they weren't going to get anything out of her while she was in this state. Breakfast was soon over and the trio made their way down to the dungeons for first period Potions, their breath starting to mist in front of them from the draughty winds.  
  
As the three sat down at their customary backbench, Hermione unzipped her bag, removing a white lab coat, glasses and ... teeth? The boys and several others watched, bemused, as Hermione donned the three items before sitting down as if everything was normal.  
  
"What?" Hermione asked, noticing their expressions, at which they politely turned away. Well at least everyone besides Harry and Ron turned away. Closing his mouth, Harry appeared to be speculating deeply on something, before he cried out with an expression of realisation replacing his formerly shocked one.  
  
"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" he asked nervously.  
  
"And what do you think I'm doing exactly?" rallied Hermione, smirking at him, which seemed to confirm his fears.  
  
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but closed it abruptly – speechless. He hadn't thought that Hermione would actually go through with it, just that she would sleep it off and wake up the same know-it-all bookworm that he was used too. Ron apparently had caught on too and was wearing an expression of acute disbelief.  
  
"What's with the glasses and coat?" Harry asked, recovering from his mute state. "You only had to wear teeth"  
  
"I know," answered Hermione. "But I had to buy the whole thing or nothing and so I thought that I might as well use it".  
  
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" exclaimed Ron fervently, but Hermione never got the chance to reply because at that moment, Snape decided to enter the room in his usual dramatic fashion, robes sweeping behind him. Noticing Hermione and her attire, his mouth opened, but he had obviously decided to simply ignore it and swept forward to his desk.  
  
"Today class, we will be making a potion that is known as the Veritas potion. It is basically a weaker version of the Veritaserum potion and allows the drinker to control what they say, though it must still be the truth. In other words, they can leave bits out or twist the truth as they wish. Because of this, the Veritas potion is not commonly used, but can be handy to use on muggles or those with weak will".  
  
Hermione listened with her usual rapt attention, as Snape explained some of the side effects of the potion and such, while mentally preparing herself for what she was about to do. The instructions then appeared on the board and the students got to work. Ron had taken over Hermione's partnership with Neville and so she was with Harry today.  
  
Halfway through the potion, Hermione realised something of vital importance to her revenge plan. If she was going to proclaim that she had invented the question mark, then she either had to do it before the Veritas was ingested or by another method. Luckily, Hermione had read about this potion and knew that if hellebore wasn't added, then the potion would be rendered useless, but with no change to the outward appearance of a working one.  
  
Quickly, she clued Harry in on this new revelation and he agreed to it at once, because after all who would want Snape to have access to their very souls? Being a member of the Order, Harry knew that he wouldn't ask him anything to do with that, but there were lots of other things that he wouldn't want others to see.  
  
Soon after, everyone was finished with the relatively simple potion and Harry slipped the hellebore into his pocket so that it would look as if they had used it in their potion. Pouring some of the magenta liquid into two conical flasks and corking them, the pair walked up to Snape's desk to find that they were the first ones there. Snape motioned for them to drink the potion, which they did, with nervous glances at each other first.  
  
The potion tasted a bit like pepper up, a burning sensation filling their stomachs before abruptly dying out, most likely due to the lack of a certain plant. Wincing they watched a smirk appear on the potion master's face before he spoke.  
  
"Potter, what is, sorry, what was your fathers first name?" he asked, adding insult to injury.  
  
"James," Harry replied sullenly, glaring fiercely at Snape, which only gave him reason to take 10 points from Gryffindor.  
  
Apparently, Snape was satisfied with that, as he then turned to Hermione, pondering a question that he could ask her, though he already knew that the potion worked. He knew nothing of her family so that was out of the question and didn't know much else about the girl except that she hung out with Potter and Weasley and was a know-it-all bookworm. Suddenly getting a surge of cruel inspiration, he asked his question.  
  
"Miss Granger, are you a know-it-all bookworm?"  
  
Harry glared at Snape even fiercer and even Hermione was surprised that he had dared ask that question. Straightening her posture, she looked him right in the eye and relied with a resounding "no".  
  
Snape was visibly shocked. His mouth was agape and his eyes were slightly larger then usual. Taking this opportunity, Hermione opened her mouth to complete task 1.  
  
"Did you know Professor Snape..." she began in a pompous voice a bit like Percy's and looking over her glasses at his dumbfounded expression. "...That I invented the question mark in a past life".  
  
"You did not," Snape argued, recovering from the uncharacteristic behaviour of his top student. "It was invented by ancient Irish monks who kept cats to prevent mice and rats eating their sacred velum manuscripts. They noticed that when cats investigate some newly observed object, they tended to curl their tails into the shape of a question mark".  
  
"Well then where did the dot come from?" Hermione inquired coyly.  
  
"It came from...erm....um... Well it doesn't matter where the dot came from, but you certainly didn't invent it!"  
  
"How can you be so sure? I am after all under the effects of a truth potion, which should be enough evidence to prove that I'm not lying to you and that I did indeed invent the question mark."  
  
Here, Snape was once again dumbfounded and opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before once again recovering.  
  
"Detention tonight Miss Granger," he drawled smoothly. "For lying blatantly to a teacher and wearing inappropriate clothing".  
  
Much to his surprise, she didn't protest at all, instead looking quite smug, a thing which annoyed him to no end. Going back to their seats, they waited for the others to test their potions before they could go to Transfiguration, promising to tell Ron all about their odd conversation at lunch.  
  
Ten minutes later, everyone's potions had been tested and they were all making their way out. Manoeuvring her way through the crowd to the front, Hermione called something out to Snape, which everyone could clearly hear and that brought forth peals of laughter from the muggleborns especially.  
  
"Have you ever watched Barney Professor?" she asked, escaping from the classroom before he could make a reply.  
  
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This chapter was written in sections so sorry if I kept repeating something. Veritas is Latin for telling the truth or at least that's what the translator said it was.  
  
This will be the last update from me in a while as I'm going to the snow tomorrow morning! Yippee! Trying boarding for the first time, I normally ski. Am scared that I'll be in a class with all these miniature 7-year-old kids! scary  
  
REVIEW?!?! 


	3. Chapter II

101 (Dangerous) Ways to Annoy Snape  
  
Parody-of-an-Angel  
  
'what happens when Harry and Ron compile a list of ways to piss of Snape and why is Hermione completing it? SS/HG. List by EnSnared'  
  
Disclaimer – I do not own any characters from Harry Potter. I do not own this list. I did not make it up. It is not mine...........................but I have permission to use it.  
  
THE OWNER OF THE FABULOUS LIST IS EnSnared!!!!!!! Thank you.

I just can't believe how successful his story is at the moment, 24 reviews!!!! I was only expecting like 8

Shout outs to all the people who reviewed chapter 2, it was a really nice surprise to come home to them all. Turns out I wasn't stuck with all these 7 year olds, but the youngest was still 4 years younger then me ï but there was also a 15 year old guy so that makes me feel a bit better!

Primax: thanks a lot, I'm glad you though it funny

Catherine: all right, no romance til later! But mark my words there will be some fluff! I did get lots of reviews! BTW, is DimDim one word or two words?

Avery-88: is that a good or bad thing? I'm assuming it's good as you told me to continue

Kaaera: snowboards aren't that scary, well maybe a bit :)

ShinakaStar: ahh, that age old question! Thanks

Evil Pureblood: literally?? Really? Well you don't have to wait much longer, in fact just skip the rest of this AN and go straight to chapter 3 now!

Kerichi: thanks! I didn't break any fingers but the rest of my body is black and blue all over, especially my butt

Miss Elvira: will definitely make him seek revenge, but no just yet. Can you imagine Snape crying?? Weird mental image

Lerenzie: how does that remind you of me? Besides the fact that I'm a retard too. ï

Anna-Nanna: thanks so much, sorry it's been a while since I've updated.

(::) Text cookie by Ron's Best Mate  
  
Chapter 3 – in which Snape finds out who Barney is and Hermione goes to detention

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It was 10 minutes after Hermione had made the Barney comment and Snape had yet to stir from his comatose state held at his spot behind his desk. His face was frozen in an expression of absolute shock and he was halfway through the motion of rising from his chair. All in all, it made for a very amusing picture and if Colin were here, then you would have been sure to hear the clicking of camera shutters.

Blinking, Severus Snape snapped out of his reverie and sank back into his chair. Massaging his temples, he pondered the very weird events of the lesson, specifically one Hermione Granger's behaviour. She had been acting rather odd, even for one of Potter's friends, becoming scarily confident and saying the weirdest things. What exactly was 'Barney' anyway and why did the students find it so funny? Add to that the fact that she had seemed glad when he had given her detention and he had to conclude that she was an enigma wrapped in a riddle or was it the other way round? Shrugging it off, he resolved to ask Dumbledore who or what Barney was later that day.

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Hermione sat down for lunch at the Gryffindor table amidst whispering and stares. Lavender had certainly done her reputation as the biggest gossip in the school proud, as it had been only a couple of hours since Potions, yet somehow everyone seemed to know about her uncharacteristic behaviour. Listening closely, she heard basically everyone on the Gryffindor table speculating on the reason for this, ranging from a crush on Snape to her smoking dope, the last one courtesy of Dean, who was now explaining what exactly it was to the non-muggleborns.

Rolling her eyes at their behaviour, she noticed the other houses doing the exact same thing. Hermione looked over at Harry and Ron, who were biting their lips and looking fit to burst and nearly laughed out loud. They obviously wanted to boast and claim credit for being able to shock Snape, but in order to be able to do that, they would first have to spill the beans on the list, which they couldn't do. Hermione had sworn them to secrecy, threatening them with a slow and painful death if they didn't comply. Still scared of her outburst the night before, they had immediately agreed and signed their names to an enchanted piece of parchment. Nothing would actually happen if they did tell like what she did for the DA, but they didn't know that.

Just then, a group of Ravenclaws decided to wander over to see if the rumours were true. More Hufflepuffs and even a few Slytherins decided to join the group and soon it had built up to about 50 curious students all wanting to know the same thing. Upon reaching Hermione, they all started to speak at once.

"Are the rumours true?"

"What did you wear?"

"Did you really ask Snape if he was Barney in disguise?"

"Did you really have fake teeth?"

"Is it true that you invented the question mark?"

"Why'd you do it?

"Was it a dare?"

Hermione held up both hands, palms outwards to stem the flow of incessant questions being fired at her, before speaking.

"It depends on what the rumours are. I wore a white lab coat and fake teeth. No, I didn't ask Snape if he was Barney in disguise – I asked him if he had ever watched the show. Yes, I did have fake teeth. I'm not sure wether I invented the question mark. I can't tell you why I did it, only that I do not have a crush on Snape and I am not high on dope and no it wasn't a dare," she rattled off, ticking them off on her fingers and answering all the questions in one breath, before taking deep breaths to steady herself.

"I don't believe you," sneered a 6th year Slytherin in a snotty voice. "You're a Gryffindor".

"So what if I'm a Gryffindor?" retorted Hermione. "Ask anyone in my class, they'll all tell you the same thing, except maybe the Slytherins. Besides, I have proof".

"What proof?"

Hermione unzipped her bag and pulled out the costume, putting it on for good measure, teeth, glasses and all and raised her eyebrow.

"That doesn't prove anything, only that you possess an extremely ridiculous costume".

"Why on earth would I buy it if I wasn't going to wear it?" she enquired.

Somewhat sulkily, the Slytherin made his way back over to his table, the others dispersing after a while to spread the new gossip with the rest of their houses, the fact that Hermione actually had done what the rumours claimed and then some spreading like wildfire.

Shrugging at the behaviour of her fellow classmates, Hermione continued eating her lunch in a placid manner, before pulling out the list to see the next task. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, a plan started to formulate in her head featuring underwear and detention and she hurried off to prepare.

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Meanwhile, Snape was on his way up to Dumbledore's office to ask the old fool what Barney was, he was sure to know something like that. His black robes billowing menacingly behind him and a glare fixed on his face made him the epitome of evil. Scowling darkly as he swished his way forwards, he failed to notice the 7th year girl coming straight for him until it was too late. With a loud oomph, she bounced off his chest onto the stone floor, her books and quills scattered around her.

"Miss Granger," he sneered, noticing that she still wore the ridiculous costume that she had had on earlier. "It would be wise to watch where you are going once in a while".

Hermione mumbled something that might have been an apology, but might just as easily have been an insult, which Snape chose to ignore.

"5 points from Gryffindor for failure to comply with the set dress code," he said, glaring at her and superstitiously brushing off his robes as if she might have tainted them somehow.

It was the last thing that annoyed Hermione more, rather then the taking of points as that was only to be expected of Snape. She wasn't contaminated for goodness sakes! Mustering her newfound courage, she lifted her head and glared at him with as much hatred as she dared.

Snape found himself shocked for not the first time that day. The Granger chit had glared at him! Him! She was getting too confident for her own good.

"If you don't watch your tongue little girl, I would gladly extend your detentions to cover a week".

At the 'little girl' bit, Hermione bristled indignantly, but wisely chose to remain silent and glare at the back of Professor Snape's robes as he walked away in the direction of the stone gargoyle.

Gathering herself together, Hermione continued on to her original destination, the common room. Muttering the password, she made her way to her wardrobe and making sure no one was around, started to prepare for tasks 4 and 5, as 3 needed no preparation further preparation.

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Meanwhile, Snape continued his solitary way to the eccentric Headmaster's office. Reaching the gargoyle he drawled out the password that he had last heard it was. "Cauldron cakes". Apparently it had changed once more as the stone statue made no other move then to snicker at him. Sneering, Severus rattled off all the wizard sweets that he knew of, but to no avail.

Resisting the urge to stomp his foot in frustration and scream, he saw the headmaster round the corner and for once in his life felt glad to see the senile old coot.

"Ah, Severus, there you are," he remarked. "I was just looking for you to tell you that the staff meeting this Saturday is cancelled as most staff members will be away".

At least something good had come out of today, Snape thought bitterly. He absolutely hated staff meetings and normally just sat in a corner brooding.

"How unfortunate," he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Could we perhaps talk in private for a time? There is something that I wish to ask you, which I would not want the students to overhear".

"Of course, Severus my dear boy," smiled Albus in that omniscient way of his as if he knew exactly what Severus wanted to ask him. "Pixie stix," he said and the statue immediately sprung aside to let them clamber onto the moving staircase.

Stepping through the door, which Albus held open for him, he took a seat on one of the armchairs, sinking into it. Following him through, Dumbledore took his seat behind his desk and leaned over, steeping his fingers in a way, which prodded Snape to talk.

"errm," he began uncomfortably. "ThismightsoundabitstrangebutdoyouknowwhoBarneyis?" he asked in a rush.

Apparently though, Dumbledore had understood as he tried, but failed to bite back a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Barney is a purple dinosaur Severus," Albus began carefully, not wanting to have Severus blow up at him.

Snape scowled in annoyance. "And?"

"And he's the star of a popular muggle children's show, designed for kids aged 3-6. I believe that Hermione was making a jibe at your immaturity".

"What do you mean my imma...," here Snape paused, before exclaiming. "Hey! How did you know that Hermione said that?"

"Oh, I think you'd be surprised at how much I know," he said, eyes twinkling.

"Oh, I think I'd be surprised if there was anything you didn't know," Snape retorted, fuming that a seventh year Gryffindor had dared to call him immature!

Albus didn't reply and Snape took this as a sign to leave and so he did, storming off to his quarters in a blacker then black mood, thinking of the upcoming detention with the infuriating know-it-all.

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Hermione walked down to the dungeons for detention, her left pocket bulging slightly with something that would be needed for the task 3. Humming quietly to herself, she added a little skip to her step after checking that no one was around to see. She soon reached her destination and confidently knocked on the wooden door, entering upon hearing a muttered "Come in". Snape was sitting behind his desk per usual and seemed to be in a particularly bad mood.

Frowning, she thought of how she could pull off the 3rd task without him suspecting anything and she decided that it all depended on what he was going to get her to do. If it was scrubbing cauldrons, then she would have no chance, but maybe she could pull it off if she was to be making potions for some reason. At that moment, the gods decided to answer her prayers in the form of a curt sentence.

"Tonight, you will be making simple sleeping droughts for the hospitals stockpile," Snape sneered. "I trust that you will be able to handle this without any more cauldrons exploding".

"Yes professor," Hermione replied demurely, trying to look as innocent as possible. Unfortunately, because of her earlier behaviour, this only made Snape more suspicious.

"The ingredients are in the storeroom".

Bending her head over a cauldron, Hermione quickly got to work lighting a magical fire under the cauldron and filling it with water, before going to the storeroom, casting a glance at Snape, who was busy scribbling zeroes on numerous essays.

Padding across the stone slabs, Hermione entered the large storeroom, the shelves filled with a manner of ingredients, some suspended in mid air with a spell, making it look fake and glassy.

Shuddering slightly, Hermione passed by the jars and went straight to the back wall, where she had heard was the entrance to Snape's private quarters. Resisting the urge to spew at the prospect of what she was about to do, she started to look for hidden bricks, but then saw a plain door to her right. Snape had obviously not bothered to ward his domain, as he was still here and why would anyone want to venture in anyway?

Taking a deep breath, now clearly nervous, Hermione reached out and turned the doorknob, half expecting Snape himself to come into the storeroom and demand what she was doing. Thinking of this made her realise that she didn't have much time, so she took another breath before twisting the door open and peering inside.

The décor was typically Slytherin, with green carpet and furniture with silver lining. Where a fire usually resided, the space was empty and looked as if it had been that way for quite a long time. Walking through the hall, Hermione peered into the different rooms, trying to find the one that she needed. She had to practically tear herself away from the doorframe of the library, which had shelves lining all four sides of the room and every space was filled with books. Dragging herself on, she came across the room she was looking for – the bedroom.

Unlike the other rooms she had come across, this one was surprisingly cosy, with a merry fire lit in the fireplace and a luxurious 4-poster bed occupying the middle of the room. True the colour design was Slytherin, but Hermione found herself liking the room more and more.

Snapping out of her observational reverie, Hermione quickly made her way towards the large mahogany wardrobe occupying the left hand corner of the room. With slightly trembling hands, she pulled out the top drawer and peered in, closing it again once she had seen it was only robes.

The next drawer contained shirts and the next pants, so it was with shaking hands that Hermione opened the fourth and last drawer, knowing what must be in it. Underwear and socks. Hurriedly removing her gaze from the pile of black, she dug into her pocket and removed a bright pink item. Hastily throwing it into the drawer, the bright colour contrasting strongly against the deep black, Hermione closed the drawer and breathed a sigh of pure relief.

It was over, all she had to do now was to finish her detention, then go to sleep awaiting his reaction at breakfast, which would surely be worth all the trouble. Smiling, she hurried out and into the storeroom and expertly gathered the needed ingredients, before going back to the now boiling cauldron.

"What took you so long?" enquired Snape bitingly.

"err, I had trouble remembering where the Hemlock was kept," Hermione replied guiltily, she hated having to lie to a teacher, even Snape.

"Hmmmm," he said sceptically, waving it aside.

The rest of detention passed by uneventfully, with Hermione brewing and bottling the potions perfectly, much to Snape's disgust. At long last it was 10pm and Snape had to grudgingly let her go back to Gryffindor tower.

Rubbing his temples, Snape slowly got up and made his way to his quarters, noticing with a slight frown that the wards were down. He could have sworn that he had locked them before coming out. Shrugging it off, he went to his bedroom and fell onto the bed exhausted.

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Meanwhile, up in his office, the headmaster cocked his head to one side and surveyed Fawkes from behind his spectacles.

"I might retire early today old friend, Severus' wards were certainly strong and I'm just not as young as I used to be".

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Sorry it's been a while since I've updated, but I've had a lot of h/w. this chapter is a bit longer because of the delay. I just ran a spelling and grammar check so if you notice any mistakes, don't blame me – blame it!

PLEASE REVIEW


	4. Chapter III

101 (Dangerous) Ways to Annoy Snape  
  
Parody-of-an-Angel  
  
'what happens when Harry and Ron compile a list of ways to piss of Snape and why is Hermione completing it? SS/HG. List by EnSnared'  
  
Disclaimer – I do not own any characters from Harry Potter. I do not own this list. I did not make it up. It is not mine...........................but I have permission to use it.  
  
THE OWNER OF THE FABULOUS LIST IS EnSnared!!!!!!! Thank you.

**JK**: is ... a good or bad thing? **ThePixiecomplex**: thank you, will do. **We Hate Piggiears20**: thanks for the warning on RedAndGold4LeafClovers. **Anna-Nanna**: thank you, glad you're a devoted reader! I feel so special. **Scorchy-11** thank you. **Zelenya**: it definitely does get interesting, especially when we get into the over 30's! I didn't make up the list though, just writing it out in fiction style. EnSnared actually wrote the list and gave me permission to use it.** Kerichi**: Sorry about the Creevy bit, a sometimes get confused with my tenses. I left a review for your story. **Wiily**: it seems the headmaster is quite involved ;) the only other list I've seen is the famous 404 ways. What do you think Hermione put in his drawer? Read on. **Smartchic**: what's wrong with laughing too loudly? I do it all the time at the weirdest moments. **Jojo:** u sound kinda hyper 00. Thanks. **Brittany Malfoy**: thanks for your review!** Sheriff of Nottingham**: thanks. **Levans**: I'm from Sydney in Australia, I went to Thredbo. I can't give away the next couple of things but I assure you that the things on the list are very interesting. They have things to do with Pokemon, pink leather, butts, seducing and plenty of randomness. **Emma436**: will definitely keep it up, thanks! **RandomReviewer**: glad you think it's amusing – it's amusing to write. **Catherine**: fine, just give it all away for everyone you reads the review pages why don't you? **Nelys1**: I like how Dumbledore turned out in this. Originally he played no special part aside from being a twinkler of eyes. **Dancing naked in rain**: thanks, I'll probably post the entire list on the last chapter, but that's quite a long way away at the moment! **GilraenLissesul5: **I don't really want any but I'll update if you don't give it to me! :) I expect it was rather nasty. It's not gonna be a thong though, some pretty young people are reading this including me! **Portkeys Miss-Mione: **thank you! **Snakecharmer11: **What in this world has gone wrong? I feel really honoured that you actually saved it to a word file and take it as a big compliment. I love getting long reviews and I'll try to update sooner than once a year! **Miss Elvira: **unfortunately you won't be able to see his face unless they make a movie out of this, but he will eventually seek revenge. Thanks for the review! **Tiffany Kleinhans: **thanks for reviewing! About Dumbledore – I see him as a meddling old matchmaker for some odd reason, so that is what he will be. :)

So sorry if I missed anyone, it was unintentional.

BTW peoples, this is not a serious fic meant to be taken seriously. It is just something that I'm doing in my spare time. Characters are deliberately OOC and events are not meant to be totally believable!

(::) Text cookie by Ron's Best Mate – why do I always have this???  
  
Chapter 4 – in which Snape looks in his underwear drawer and tasks 4 and 5 are completed

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Hermione picked at her breakfast, anxiety eating away at her nerves when she thought about what Snape would do to her. He would know it was her as she had been the only one given access to his quarters last night and she shuddered to think of the consequences.

Mentally berating herself for not thinking of this before, she only just registered the scream coming from the dungeons. She presumed that Snape had just looked into his drawer and found her...surprise. The few people who were in the Great Hall that early fell silent, wondering who the outraged scream could belong to.

Hermione grinned to herself and looked up at the staff table. Only Dumbledore and McGonagall were there and she could have sworn that the Headmaster winked at her. Brushing it aside as a figment of her overactive imagination, which was currently picturing Snape's face, she pulled out a copy of 'The list'. She had duplicated it several times last night and hidden them throughout her dorm room, in case she ever lost the original, which was the one she was looking at now.

3. Plant pantyhose in his underwear drawer.

4. Better yet, put them on the roof.

5. With his name on them.

She had already taken care of number three, but wasn't sure how to go about the next two. The list obviously hadn't been made for Hogwarts, as nobody would ever see the underwear if it was placed on top of Hogwart's roof, much less read the name on them.

Pondering this problem while she waited for Harry and Ron to come down to eat, she was suddenly struck by a lightening bolt of inspiration. Just as she had finished working out the finer details of her wickedly humiliating plan, Harry and Ron plonked themselves down on either side of her, simultaneously reaching for food.

Rolling her eyes at them, she debated whether to tell them about her plan or not. Deciding that she would surprise them, she greeted them normally, getting a mumbled reply from the food stuffed boys. Restraining the urge to roll her eyes once again, she picked a bit more at her food.

"Hey Harry, did you hear it?" asked Seamus Finnegan, from his spot across the Gryffindor House table.

"Hear what?" asked a confused Ron, pausing in his eating tirade and Harry looking up as well.

"You mean who honestly didn't hear it? But is was so loud, I'm sure it would have reached the Tower," Seamus replied, not really answering the question.

"What didn't we hear?!" exclaimed Ron, frustrated at not knowing. "Do you know Moine?" he asked Hermione, who nodded, but left it up to Seamus to explain.

"Well," he started. "Around five minutes ago, there was this really deafening scream coming from the Dungeons. Whoever it was sounded really mad about something. The guess at the moment is that it was Snape, but we're not sure yet".

"And you could hear it all the way up here?" questioned Harry in disbelief.

"Yep"

He quickly checked his schedule for the day, smiling at something that he soon explained.

"We have potions today after lunch. We'll see if the rumours are true then".

Hermione blanched at this, wondering how Snape would act around her and quickly deciding that she didn't want to know just yet. Harry and Ron each noticed this and comprehension dawned on their faces as they remembered The List.

"You didn't..." Ron said, trailing off, him and Harry wearing identical looks of trepidation.

Hermione swallowed nervously before replying. "I did".

The boy's looks quickly changed from worried to amazed, as they each grinned and thumped her on the back, causing her to start coughing, at which they stopped abruptly.

"Wow Moine!" exclaimed Ron. "Never thought you had it in you".

Hermione didn't take offence at that though, as she wouldn't had thought that she was capable of it either. In fact, she didn't rightly know what had come over her this year, it was like the faint rebellious streak in her had multiplied in size and magnitude, giving her the courage to do the unthinkable.

Harry and Ron were now staring at her in awe and reverence and Hermione thought that any minute now they would get down on their knees and start praising her, the almighty Moine.

"Are you going to do the next 98 things as well?" they asked, having recovered the gift of speech.

"I'm not sure yet," replied Hermione. "Maybe, if there's enough time before graduation".

"Come on Moine, we'll help you!" wheedled Ron, making the oddest face that Hermione had ever seen.

"Yeah Moine, don't give up now," added Harry.

"Don't worry, I won't".

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When Snape had woken up that morning, he had thought it would be a nice, normal day terrorising students and docking points from Gryffindor. He determinedly pushed all thought's of Miss Granger aside and swung over to the side of the bed, running a hand through his limp hair. Stretching in an almost cat-like way, he rose in one fluid motion and made his way over to his bathroom.

Letting the water trickle down in rivulets down his body, he pondered the day's events to come as he washed his hair. He had Hufflepuff first years before lunch, a class he most thoroughly enjoyed as they were the easiest to terrify before combined Gryffindor and Slytherin 7th years after lunch. At this, his mood darkened somewhat, having to endure 2 hours of the Golden Trio wasn't exactly his preferred thing to do.

Switching the water off, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself, taking his time, as it was still quite early in the morning. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he strode over to his wardrobe, selecting his customary black teaching robe, black pants and a black frock shirt. Reaching into the last drawer, he unknowingly opened it to find bright pink knickers staring up at him.

Never having been confronted with this problem before, he did the only sensible thing that he could do.

He screamed.

The sound dying in his throat a few minutes later, he started to really think about his predicament, instantly regretting his earlier action. Banishing the knickers to some unknown place and investigating the rest of his quarters thoroughly, he sat down to think about who could have possibly be responsible.

Hermione Granger. The name seemed to echo around in his head, bouncing off the sides before coming to rest on his tongue as he whispered it menacingly to himself. That little chit had been the only one who would have had a chance to place them there last night. She would pay dearly for this and her earlier behaviour he vowed silently to himself. For humiliating him, she would pay the ultimate price. No one tangled with Severus Snape and got away with it. If this were the way she wanted it then fine, he would play her little game, but his way.

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Hermione slipped into her seat in between Harry and Ron, noticing the stares and whispers being cast her way. Bemused, she turned to the boys, whom were both wearing equally guilty expressions.

"You didn't..." Hermione said, realisation dawning in her mind as she echoed Ron's words from that morning.

"No," Harry replied hurriedly. "We would never betray your trust like that".

"Then why is everybody acting so weird about me?"

"Well," Ron started slowly. "It's just that everybody knows about the list now".

With a loud thunk, Hermione's head hit the table, as she buried her head in her arms with a low moan.

"Look on the bright side Hermione, you're like a God to everyone now!" Harry said in an attempt to cheer up the distraught girl.

"Do you know what this means Harry? Do you?" Hermione asked, the dumbfounded youth shaking his head. "If the teachers find out about this, if _Snape _finds out about this! I am so dead".

Harry and Ron looked nervously at each other, not sure what to do with this kind of Hermione. She had always been the strong one of the Trio, the stable one that the others could come to with problems. Not this hysterical girl before them.

"How?" she asked dejectedly.

"Lavender and Parvati found a copy in the Dorm room and they put two and two together about the first tasks. They duplicated it and sent it to everybody in the school with a note attached, explaining what you were doing".

"Oh," was all the poor girl could manage.

"Don't worry, we have a plan," proclaimed Ron excitedly. "We've cast a spell of secrecy over the student body so that they can't tell the teachers about it, not that they would have, they're so glad that somebody's finally doing something to Snape".

Hermione recovered some of the colour in her face as she absorbed this news, smiling at her two best friends and thanking them profusely.

"Why isn't anyone coming over like they did after the first tasks?" asked Hermione, confused.

"Well, you're now at God status. No one will dare to approach you now without your permission," Ginny interjected, before one of the boys could answer.

"You are now officially my idol!" she exclaimed. "You even put Fred and George to shame!"

"Well," Hermione blushed. "I didn't actually write the list, you can thank Harry and Ron for that. I'm just acting out the masterpiece".

Ginny now turned impressed eyes towards the two boys who were looking sheepish and Ron's ears were turning pink. "Is this true?"

They mumbled an affirmative and Ginny bounded off to spread this new piece of gossip throughout the school.

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When Harry and Ron got to the Dungeons, Snape was already standing behind his desk, glaring menacingly at the quivering students.

"20 points from Gryffindor for being late," he snapped. "Each".

Mouths gaping, they hurried to their desks. So the rumours were true then.

Hermione was nowhere to be seen, which was extremely unlike her. The last that they had seen of her had been just before the end of lunch when she had said that she was going to the library to look up some spell. Little did they know that she was actually preparing for the next tasks.

Dismissing it, they concentrated on the lesson, not wanting to further invoke Snape's wrath.

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Meanwhile, Hermione was climbing the steep steps leading up to the astronomy tower, a sack swung over her shoulder containing several things needed for tasks 4 and 5. Panting slightly when she reached the top, she paused for a moment to catch her breath, leaning against the tower wall, before proceeding onto the rooftop study area that was used for Astronomy.

Searching around for a suitable place to hang the underwear, her eyes came across a statue of a women holding two spears crossed in front of her. It was perfect.

Removing the lacy, pink underwear from the sack, Hermione muttered something under her breath and flicked her wand at it, causing it to enlarge tenfold to the size of a small oval. If Hermione were a muggle, it would have been impossible to even think of hooking this up all by herself, but she wasn't, she was a witch. Using magic, the enormous knickers attached themselves to the statue, Hermione backing it up with a permanent sticking charm so that they wouldn't fly away when the wind blew.

Taking out a rather thick volume from her bag, Hermione flipped it to page 294. The book was on warding one's property from others. What she wanted to do was charm the underwear to scream out "I belong to Severus Snape" over and over again. There was a charm in the book that made the possession scream out who it belonged to when it was too far away from its owner. Hermione planned to alter this so that it screamed it no matter what. That was what she had been researching in the library earlier.

Quickly performing said charm, she stuffed everything back into her bag and made her way back down to the main school. The noise was deafening at close quarters, but Hermione had thought of this and currently she couldn't hear a thing for the earplugs in her ears.

She couldn't wait to see the look on Snape's face when he heard, Hermione was sure the noise would reach the dungeons. Grinning wickedly as she unplugged her ears, she casually strolled into the Great Hall for dinner, listening to the high-pitched voice wailing that it 'belonged to Severus Snape'.

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Everywhere in the castle, classes were interrupted as the wailing invaded the air. Teachers were in states of the utmost confusion, while students were in a similar state. One by one, the students slowly came to the same conclusion – Tasks 3 and 4 were complete.

Wanting to see if this amazing feat was true for themselves, they forsook all caution and dashed outside, nobody noticing the solitary figure of Hermione Granger making her way into the Hall.

All in all, nearly three quarters of Hogwarts were assembled on the lawn in front of the lake, staring at the lacy pink underwear flapping in the wind and chanting who it belonged to. Everything was silent for a full minute before the laughter finally broke out. Nearly as one, the students started to laugh, their voices loud, but not nearly as loud as the voice coming from the top of the tower.

The bell rang then, signalling the end of the school day. Some chose to remain outside and stare, while most went in search of their idol – Hermione. Their search was not in vain as they quickly found her complacently eating chicken at the Gryffindor table and reading the famous list.

All at once, she was mobbed by a group of admirers congratulating her and even wanting her autograph. She sent them away before the teachers arrived though, so they had no reason whatsoever to suspect her of anything.

Later that evening when they retired to the common room, Hermione was surprised to see that the others had decided to throw a party in her honour. Strung up on the wall opposite the fire was a large poster with a picture of her from the Yule Ball and the words 'Good 4 u!' written on them. There was also a picture of Snape being hung, but Hermione didn't really approve of that. 'The List' had also been framed and hung up with a sign saying who it was by.

Seeing the list reminded Hermione of the tasks to come and she shuddered thinking about them. These would humiliate her as well, but she supposed that the students would understand as they had all read the list. Besides, it was worth it just to see Snape's face.

For the next week, Hermione forgot about the list and simply basked in the attention she was receiving. It had taken the teacher a full 3 days to remove the charms and until then, class had been dismissed until further notice. However hard they tried, the teachers couldn't find out who was responsible, the students (even the Slytherins) had been true to their word and kept quiet.

The next Monday rolled around and Hermione decided that it was time to continue her vendetta against Snape. What she didn't know was that this time, he would fight back.

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wow, I am so incredibly sorry for not updating sooner! I feel really bad cause I had the whole holidays, but I was just too lazy. This is now my longest fic. Sad huh? I can't believe how many reviews I've gotten – nearly 50!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE REVIEW!


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